October 2010
misanthropy.
I wonder what it is that sends me in to a random mood where I get annoyed by everyone and any little thing. I understand that it is me, most definitely. I just want to know what it is that triggers something in my head where that switch moves in to the off position. I don’t know. It will probably go away, just like this post might, but I just don’t understand myself sometimes. These...
September 2010
storage box.
I had my first workout today with my trainer. She kicked my butt. It didn’t help I was going off three hours of sleep, plus I didn’t eat, and I guess that is now a bad thing. Even though I was told I shouldn’t eat beforehand. I was eating oatmeal and it was making me nauseous. I wasn’t feeling the pain before, but as I am about to go to sleep boy are my arms tired. Things I...
happy.
I had a great day, and I will have a great day tomorrow.
J got one of his packages! I was so happy to hear about it. The he got on camera and showed me and it was the most adorable thing I have ever seen. I have never had someone be so excited about something like that. It was awesome. Totally worth sending that down there just to see the reaction. It made my whole day perfect.
It’s...
i thought i saw your face today.
I did it! I got bangs! It was hard, I almost started crying. I was so scared it wouldn’t look good. So far everyone likes them, except B. He doesn’t like them. That sucks, but oh well. Awkward night with him tonight. I won’t go in to detail, but I wasn’t comfortable.
I was playing xbox tonight and remembered that I sweat so much when I get nervous in games. In any game. I...
nothin new is sweeter than with you.
I am going to list the things that I am thinking about right now.
Bed.
Sleep.
Xbox.
J.
Beach.
Australia.
School.
Homework.
Stress.
B.
He never talked to me today.
Broccoli.
Shoes.
Haircut.
Alarms.
That was running through my mind in about 30 seconds. It’s odd how things connect with each other in some way. I would like to take this time to take on a personal challenge. Not...
flower power.
I had a fantastic weekend, because it was new and exciting. No detail really to put anywhere.
I am posting pictures J and I drew. Mine should be obvious.
I like the whole drawing thing. it was fun.
The exercising has taken a back seat this past week because I was so busy and so tired from working. I am trying to get back in to it. I start tonight by playing tennis for an hour with A...
right words to say.
I gave a girl and her husband a ride home tonight. As we were driving to their home she brought up religion. I found this odd at first when I was asked, “do you believe in God?” I responded honestly that I am fascinated by religion and I am personally an atheist. She didn’t judge or start to preach to me. She began to talk about how she believes things happen for a reason and...
i can hear music.
As I debate how I will fall asleep tonight I have tons of questions in my head. I have began to start looking in to study abroad programs. There are three countries I am looking at currently, Britain, Ireland, and Australia. Being realistic will be the only way to handle this transition. So I would assume I would be by myself in this country so I would have to break out of my shell and start being...
don't stop me now.
I am about to go to sleep, I have even put on my nightly Family Guy episode.
Just a recap, I had yet another amazing weekend, with JJJ. He makes things less complicated and wants to have a good relaxing time, plus I can talk to him about almost anything. I kept to my diet and didn’t eat anything that was super terrible for me. I bought J some shirts, I hope they fit and he enjoys them. I...
devotion and desire.
I wasn’t going to post anything tonight, but I measured myself to check on my progress. I am so happy to say I have actually made some progress.
I am down 5 more pounds.
My arms are half an inch down.
My legs are half an inch down.
My hips are half and inch down.
My tummy is 4 inches down.
My waist is 1 inch down.
My bust is 2 inches down.
I am so pumped about this. It makes me...
don't panic.
I find it harder to be pessimistic than to be optimistic. It’s also easier to be realistic than it is to be optimistic.
I can’t stop smiling right now. Things are difficult right now, but for some reason I am just not worried or stressed, I am content.
I wrote an autobiography about myself for class, and it ended up being super long, I wasn’t expecting it. I hope my teacher...
JJJ.
I love my friends so much. No matter all the bullshit and all the crap I am bogged down with they know how to make me forget everything. My escapism? Friends, running, movies, video games, and music. I am confused as how it took me so long to realize I need these people in my life more. The positive vibes I receive on a daily basis is just the cure for how I feel lately. I have my best friends and...
bass line.
I think it’s safe to say that I fucking love music. I love every kind of music. As I was looking over my iPod to figure out what to listen to on my drive I stopped on a band that C introduced to me about 2 years ago. This band is Operator Please. Cute little band from Australia, they started the band to do a high school talent show and it took off from there. This band is great, yeah her...
explain this.
Ever get mixed signals from people? Yeah, me too. Sometimes I don’t notice them until I fully step back, question my motives, and realize that I am messing up. Or are they? Who knows?
Just breathe.
Don’t panic.
I should probably close back up with people. Why did I let myself open up so much? Stop allowing myself get too emotionally involved.
i'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I make a lot of promises. I keep almost all of them if I am able to. If I know I won’t be able to commit to a promise, I won’t make it. I have made a promise that I am not currently keeping. I made that promise to myself. Why is it that I find promises that I make to other people more important than the ones that I make to myself? I wish I knew why, because I am sick of failing...
